On battles and butterflies

Is there anything more difficult than to see a loved one suffer? To know they’re in a place in life where thoughts or circumstances prevent them from experiencing joy?

We’ve all been there; we’ve all felt the heavy weight of worry when someone we love isn’t doing well. ”One way or another, being broken up and put together again is the universal experience, the never-ending central drama of life,” writes Mary Craig in Blessings.

I wish it weren’t true. I don’t like to see people “being broken up.”  I am, by nature a “fixer.” I not only long for those around me to be happy, but I do everything in my power to make it so. If there’s conflict, I try to resolve it. If there’s loneliness, I plan a party. If there’s sorrow, I hit the kitchen in the hope that something nourishing for the body will, somehow, nourish the soul as well.

But there are some things I cannot fix. There are some struggles in life that can only be vanquished by battling through them, emerging victorious out the other side.

When such struggles come into the lives of those I love, there are two things that help me. The first is the knowledge that without the fight to emerge from the chrysalis, the butterfly would never fly. It is the effort exerted in the struggle that makes its wings grow stronger.

The second thing is prayer. Knowing that in my helplessness, I can still ask God to use trials – in the lives of those I love – for good, gives me hope. And brings me peace.